Josh Horowitz, you’re a
legendary champion, thank you for coming
to help me pack. Even though you’re
just a journalist who interviews me sometimes, you’re my closest
and dearest friend. Aww.
So I’m happy you’re here. That’s so sweet, man. I mean I can only imagine
how crazy your schedule’s been. It’s gotta be a fantastic beast,
if you will. Don’t make bad puns like that,
Josh, I’m gonna put a hex on you. Oh, oh, yes I will, yes I will.
Okay. Hey, speaking of hexes, have you
noticed that weird Reddit thread that talks about you
being an actual wizard? Yeah, isn’t that ridiculous? Because no one’s an actual
wizard because magic isn’t real. Josh, would you get me
my sex fetishist rave clothes? Okay, yeah. You never know in Paris.
There’s a history out there. I don’t see how that can
possibly fit, though, man. I mean, I’m no mathematician.
Have you seen the movie? I liked it, I really.
I thought it was better than- Did you think I was the best
person in the movie? Because everyone keeps saying Jude Law, Jude Law
was only in two scenes so I don’t even understand
how that makes any sense. It’s not true, first of all, and
it’s just because he’s English. But what did you think because
I want your honest opinion? I thought Jude was great, but I
thought you were great, too. Jude, Jude, they always
think about Jude. Oh, wait, hold on,
forgetting my dog. What about your dog? Gotta bring my dog
to Paris, Josh. You can’t pack a dog
in the bag like that. No, he’s going to be
very comfortable. Okay, but you need a carrier
or something like- Shut the (bleep) up,
shut the (bleep) up. I think that’s inhumane. You know what would be inhumane
is not bringing my dog to Paris. It’s okay, it’s okay,
that’s okay. Please don’t, please don’t. That’s okay. Or you know
what would be inhumane? Forgetting the food. Right. Or the bed,
that would be inhumane. Can I switch to water maybe?
Can I get like a glass? You are drinking water, Josh. No, I’ve been drinking beer
the whole time. It’s always been water. What are you talking about?
It’s not. What the hell?
That was not like that- What are you saying, Josh?
That I’m truly a wizard. That I truly have dark
wizardly powers, that I made some sort of deal
with Baphomet in the dark of the night? What was that? Are you implying perhaps that
I turned the scene-stealing Jude Law into the little cute bitch
that he’s always been? You think I am in fact a dark
wizard fated to rule the world, lord over all the repugnant
mortals like yourself? ‘Cause that’s ridiculous,
I would never do that, I’m totally kidding.
You got freaked out. You just got
genuinely freaked out. You are kidding. Oh my God, you got me again.
You always get me. Josh, how could that not be
a joke if it’s literally insane? Well, you were going
pretty far on that. I know.
It was the scream. I commit.
These are the bits we always do. That’s what we do.
That’s what we do. And then I feel like
there’s always this one moment where I look back and I’m like, “Oh my gosh, Josh
is actually scared right now.” I was. I still am a little bit,
I’m shaking. No, it’s you’re totally fine.
Hey listen. What? Crazy idea. You wanna come to Paris
with me for this premiere? Stop it. Don’t be, don’t say stuff like that
if you don’t mean it. Well honestly, I was just
thinking about it and I was like,
“You know what? I would be way more comfortable
on this press tour if Josh Horowitz was with me,”
’cause I love you, you know? I love you, I thank you. That’s a yes? You’ll come? That is a yes. And you’re so excited?
I am so excited. And you’re a neck pillow. A delightful,
beautiful neck pillow. Another great adventure for Ezra
Miller and Josh Horowitz. Thanks, buddy,
I’m really gonna lean on you. I have a propensity
for word play.




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