Things that drive me mad in horror films

Hello all you sonsy folks. I’m back! That sounded vaguely threatening. I have not uploaded in a couple of weeks now because I have been in pain and I have just not had the strength or the energy to film So yeah, no excuses Just good old-fashioned feeling like crap {Intro music} I actually had an entire different video planned for today. I was going to carve a pumpkin and I even asked you guys on Twitter to vote for what I should carve on the pumpkin but then, in true “nothing ever goes as I plan it” fashion, I took the pumpkin out and there was a huge hole in the side of it. {hands clap together} So now we move on to plan B But just before we get into that I want to point out that I am wearing my new “No more of craptions” t-shirt, which was kindly bought for me by my friend James I will link his YouTube channel in the description below He is awesome, and yes, he captions all of his stuff. So he’s definitely worth subscribing to. The “no more craptions” is a campaign that another of my friends, Rikki runs, um, I’m not sure if it’s currently running just now but what I will do is put her social media as well as her YouTube in the description box below and if you follow her on that then you should be kept up to date with whenever she does another one of these campaigns and then you can buy yourself one of these t-shirts. They also have “caption your videos” written on the back. i’ll put a picture here. But yeah, thank you very much for that James. I love it. And now let’s get on with the video! {Creepy child singing) Ring-a-Ring-a-rosie Number one creepy music As a deaf person, I notice the music in horror films so much more than hearing people, which if you think about it actually slightly ironic. But I challenge any hearing person to turn the volume down or mute the volume when there is one of those creepy music sequences in a horror film and you will see I mean. Honestly, like half of the horror is in that creepy build up that the music creates and If you don’t have that and you cut the sound out It’s suddenly not quite as scary I’m actually going to watch the horror film “A quiet place” this Halloween because I’ve been told that it doesn’t do this And, honestly, it’s about time that a horror film did not rely on creepy music to make it scary. Number two: running up stairs Now how many horror movies have you seen where somebody is running away from an axe-wielding murderer or ghost or whatever and they run upstairs? Upstairs where the only way out is to plummet to the ground from a second or third story window? Bish whet? Okay now how many horror films have you seen where the person runs past the front door to go up the stairs? That’s usually about the point in the movie when I stop watching it Who, in the right mind, thinks “hmm got to get away from somebody. Front doors right there. I could get outside. I could get help or I could go upstairs where there’s no way out” And that brings us, neatly, to number three: Hearing noises and investigating I’m sorry, but if you are home alone and you hear a noise assuming you’re in the right mind you would either get the hell out of there or phone the police Or, if you’re really sensible, both You would not go “hmm there’s something happening behind that door in this house where I’m all alone I’m gonna go check that out.” I mean unless you have some kind of death wish anyway. Number four: creepy children What the heck is it with horror films where all the creepy ghost children are from Victorian times? Like Where are all the nineties kids ghosts? Do you really expect me to believe that these ghosts hung around for centuries just to haunt some random couple that moved to England from LA My camera cut out there so if I’m suddenly in a weird position {hands clap together} Thanks, buddy number five wall climbing In just about every creepy horror film these days there is a crazy possessed person or a ghost who is scaling the walls like they are freaking spider-man. What is that? Become possessed and learn parkour? Number six: dolls Okay folks another challenge for you. I challenge you guys to find a recent horror film where there is not one moment in it that a doll appears. Why? When did we decide the dolls are creepy and that we should make them come to life? they are meant to be a children’s toy. And why is it nearly always china dolls? Why couldn’t it be Barbie dolls? Number seven: Old houses What is it about the creators of horror films that makes them think “mmm nice old Victorian style house. That’s the perfect setting.” You want to tell me that every house over a hundred years old has some kind of deep, dark history and a bunch of scary-looking Victorian children ghosts running around in it? And, if that’s the case, why not film somewhere like in a Castle? Where there’s definitely been a lot of morbid history. Number eight: Suddenly becoming trapped. Oh my god. This one that drives me absolutely batty. We literally see a character drive up to a house a car that is in perfect condition. And yet When they’re trying to leave in this car because there’s three men with chainsaws running after them the car stalls Number nine: Basements and attics What is it about the rooms that most people use to store their old junk in that, somehow, becomes creepy when it’s in a horror film? And why, when you’re watching it, does all that junk in that room suddenly become so much creepier? Oh my god! Oh. It’s just a rocking horse. Oh man! That bicycle made me jump! Number ten: Lights Now I get that ghosts are meant to mess with electricity. That makes sense to some extent. But ,when a murderer is creeping around a house trying to find a victim and they turn the lights off and suddenly they have night-vision goggles. That I don’t get. I mean, let’s be honest here if you turned the lights back on that would go from terrifying to hysterical in a matter of seconds because everybody looks ridiculous in night vision goggles. But what is it with all these murderers that own night vision goggles? And if they don’t own night-vision goggles why are they turning the lights out? Do they have some kind of like magic eyes? Does being a creepy killer automatically mean you can see in the dark? Because seriously, all I can think when I’m watching these scenes is “okay, you’ve freaked your victim out and made it so that they can’t see you coming but dude, how the heck are you supposed to find them in the dark?” Okay, so there are like a thousand more things that happen in horror films that drive me up the wall but this would be an extremely long video if I was to talk about all of them. However, please do let me know what you guys find really annoying in horror films in the comment section below. We can strike up a conversation about that. And I will be back with another video on Saturday assuming that my pain and everything doesn’t interfere again. Thanks for watching this video guys. Bye for now.

  1. One very random thing… notice the pints of milk featured in American horror movies. I am not kidding. I used to watch tonnes with my best friend and we would literally wait for it to show up! Next time you watch an American made horror movie, try to spot it, either in people bringing in food shopping, opening the fridge, taking it out for cereal etc… it always turns up!

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