“The Philippines” | Russell Peters – The Green Card Tour


>>Russell Peters: Any Filipinos, in the house, tonight? [Audience members cheering] Nice. [Filipino accent] “Hello, welcome to the show!” [Laughter] [To audience member] Are you Filipino, bro? Are you? Why don’t you make any noise? He was like, [Filipino accent] “Cause you can see, that I’m here.” [Laughter] “I don’t have to make noise.” “If you can see me, you know I am here.” [Laughter] What’s your name? [Inaudible] [Russell off-screen] What? Bob? [Laughter] Bart? Mark? Oh, why did it sound like you said, “Bob and Bart?” [Laughter] [English Accent] “Bob.” [English Accent] “Bart.” [North American accent] Mark. It doesn’t even– [Laughter] “Mawk. Bah. Bob. Bock– ” Are you doing, fucking chicken impressions, right now?! [Laughter] Bart. Mark. Bock– Bock–Bock– [Immitating chicken noises] [Laughter] Oh my God, you’ve got Asian bird flu! [Laughter] Have you been to the Philippines, Mark? It’s a nice there. I had a great time, when I was there. I, uh– I like the people. They’re very sweet. Don’t you notice that, when you’re there? Everybody sings to you. [Singy Filipino accent] “Hello, siiir!” “Good morning, siiir!” “Thank you, siiir!” [Laughter] “Don’t touch my puet, siiir!” [Laughter continues] [To audience member] Saudi guy, you know what I’m talking about. You owned a few Filipinos back home, [Laughter] Don’t act like I’m even making that shit up! [Laughter] How many Filipinos, in your house, when you grew up? How many Filipinos did you have? Two! You see what I’m saying? He was like– [Arabic accent] “I do. I had two. They were very nice people, though, I don’t–” [Laughter] “I have no disregard for the “Bilibinos.” [Normal voice] “For the what?” [Arabic accent] “Bilibinos.” [Laughter] Hey Mark, when I was in the Philippines– Uhm– Sorry, I’m playing ping-pong, with the audience, right now. [Laughter] [To audience member] And by, “ping-pong,” I don’t mean anything, by that, Vee. [Laughter] When I was in the Philippines, it was really cool. We were driving, from the hotel– to the, uh– to the– Sorry, from the airport, to the hotel, in Manila, and we were all in this big van, and there was a lady, in the front seat, of the van. She was from the Philippines, and she was in charge of our group. Anyway, we’re driving, and I’m looking out the window, and uh– we’re not moving very fast, and we had, actually, stopped moving. But I didn’t notice, because I’d never been to the Philippines, and I’m just looking out the window, and the second we stopped moving, the lady in the front seat turns to us, and goes, [Filipino accent] “Oh my gut! And I look at my brother, and I go, “What’s wrong with her stomach?” [Laughter] She’s experiencing some sort of, abdominal discomfort. [Laughter] She just yelled out, “Oh my gut.” [Laughter] So, I go, “What’s wrong?” And she goes, [Filipino accent] “Look at all the tropics!” [Laughter] And I go, “I know, I love the tropics, it’s beautiful, yeah!” [Laughter] [Filipino accent] “Not the tropics, the TROPICS!” [Laughter] I go, “No, I get it. Humidity– Palm trees– Aahhh, tropics!” [Laughter] [Filipino accent] “Not tropics! Look at all the cars, on the road!” [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Oh,cars! Traffic!” “What’s wrong with your gut?” [Laughter] [Filipino accent] “Not my gut – Oh my gut!” [Laughter] I go, “Why is your gut, on the ceiling?” [Laughter] [Filipino accent] “Not my gut – Oh my gut”! [Laughter] [Normal voice] “Oh, your God!” It’s cute. In the Philippines, they think they have traffic problems! Have you been? Did you think they had traffic problems? Fuck no! I had just flown there from India! [Laughter] You’re not going to impress me, with your shitty traffic, in the Philippines! [Laughter] In the Philippines, you may have a lot of cars, but there’s some sort of order. For the most part, people will drive in their lane. The will generally stop, at a red light. India’s insane! [Laughter] In India, we have a system called, [Indian accent] “Create-a-Lane.” [Laughter and Clapping] [Indian accent] “If you see an open space–” “Take it, and go.” [Applause] ♪ ♪




Comments
  1. Come on bro yur immitations about the filipinos are really far🤣
    You make us sound so stupid tbh
    Yur immitations are so strong for my accents🤣

  2. Filipinos have a hardcore humour. Making fun of things you guys don’t. 5 minutes and ya’ll calling the human rights committee. I think they’re not really offended. Russell is just bad at roasting Filipinos not like Jo Koy.

  3. He sounds more like Thailand and Indian. He over exagerate the accent to make it funnier but it's not and he doesn't know how to do it.

  4. Yo i swear since I started watching his comedy in YouTube all I see is every country name " Indian " russian " Italy " China " many others

  5. we, Pilipinos (filipinos) don't get offended by the jokes but those people insuaniting that we are, thats offensive…such irony…

  6. “In India we have a system called “create a lane”. If you see an open space, take it and go” 😂😂

  7. I watched some of this dude's video and his comedy topics revolves around insults and racial comedy. Specifically blacks and asians.
    My advice is watch this guy first before jokoy. If you've watched jokoy first then this guy. This guy is boring.

  8. WTH?U r pagil… Oh well at least we are filo won't smell curry in the house, in the car, and even in the work place(so stinks). U indian why you used garlic as perfume? And correction filo speak clear english.. no too much '"RRRRRRRR'"
    And hey do tongue extension so u can pronounce "RRRR" properly.

  9. Indian here, this guy makes fun of us all the time, I love that! If u dont get his jokes, dont be here! Its that simple.

  10. Exactly what i said to a Philipino coworker once when i heard him talking, and i could not help laughing. I told him he sounded like a chicken. Don't mean to offend, but that was what he sounded like, exactly.

  11. He always does the 'unable to understand their english' joke fpr every language speaker in his routine. Not funny because you can definitely understand what they are saying. Yes, esl speakers have an accent of their native language when speaking english (as we all do when speaking a second language), but you can still make out what they generally are saying. His other routines are pretty funny though

  12. "if you see an open space, take it and go" from my experience from the Philippines, that's pretty much the basic rule for the motorcycles =-= .

    in general, its the rule there too but for mostly motorcycles.

  13. I don't find his jokes offensive but it's dry. And his impression of the Filipino accent is so bad. I know we have an accent but it's not like that. I'll go back watching Jo Koy

  14. I am not offended but his impression of our accent is pretty much incorrect… We don't exchange d into T. Indonesians does that. We sometimes exchange f into p and v into b…

  15. I AM A FILIPINO, BORN AND RAISED HERE IN MANILA, AND I LOVE RUSSEL PETERS AND GABRIEL IGLESIAS. TWO OF MY FAVORITE FOREIGN STAND UP COMEDIANS. I WISH THEY WOULD GO HERE FOR THE NEXT TOUR.

  16. im not filipino not even remotely related, but im brown skin so visually i qualify as a “pinoy”….but living in the US other pinoys always asked me how i got my green card??? …..that’s all they want…..so i got tired of explaining and now my reply is always “i was a sex slave at the age of 9 and was smuggled into the US in a large suitcase bcos i was tiny and malnourished at that age. I survived in the suitcase but the other 2 died next to me”. Whenever i tell them this story, they shut up. Oh well…..mabuhay, mahal kita!

  17. Can’t compare to JoKoy!!! Why try to imitate him….you just make it so dry and boring. The only nice one is the one last part!!!

  18. traffic in Pakistan is 10000000000000x worsethan India and the Philippians combined in this is just my experience in Islamabad the capital create your own lane pathetic you can't do that in Pakistan because of the damn motorbikes taking up the whole road!

  19. There are many racist Filipinos who hate Spain for giving them chocolate, uniting them, and saving them from Islam by crushing the Brunei Empire, and also saving them from the Chinese and Japanese such as in Cagayán when the Spanish defeated samurais.

  20. "…you own a few Filipinos back home."

    OK, so we're now being objectified. Can't help to feel a little uneasy about it, but it's true. Nevertheless, I'd still watch the fuck outta Russell Peters stand-ups.

  21. this guy is not good with his job. hahaha… come on. dont make jokes to offend people there are too many things to joke about. maybe if you're a filipino then fine, its ok, like JOKOY. but if you're not, then it so disrespectful at all. and btw, india is far worst than Philippines. lol.

  22. Hey Russel while going every where in the world try contacting me for best price on airline tickets ….+18008359272

    By the way im indian my name is Pradeep

  23. Just saw this video today. I just feel sorry for kabayan Mark for being singled out and on his face joked about his kababayans. That was rude to really call someone by his name then make fun of. But well, its a stand uo comedy. There is always that possibility, no one is spared. For those kababayans who got upset, just accept the fact that some kababayans really speak wrong english, just like some indians at call centers who can hardly be understood with the way they speak.

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