playing card games ’til 3am


is there ever a time where… you think to yourself “I really hope I remember this moment.” I feel like it’s an obligation for me to say “wow, it’s been a long time, since I’ve last recorded something” because honestly, right now, I’m not sure of a lot of things but at least I can be sure of [Molly squeaks] the last time I uploaded something do you have more to say? when I woke up this morning AKA… very early in the morning… 9 o’clock. very early. totally. I stayed in bed until like… 12. which is a normal thing for me, you know, because I’ve given up on a lot of things and that is, waking up and doing something productive. It is the end of reading week. I have done zero of my readings. and I’m going to fail my midterms. but that’s okay, at least I’m… doing something productive. which is making a video. about… forgetting. things. I’ve noticed one thing about my life, and that’s the fact that, my memory’s getting a lot worse. [to Molly] Why do you have so much to say today? You’re usually very quiet. I don’t understand. go. shh. my memory, for some reason, has been getting a lot worse, and… it’s to the point where I could be in the middle of a conversation, and I don’t know what we were talking about previously and it’s very terrifying, yes. very terrifying. and the times when it’s most terrifying is when I’m having a very good time and I come to the realization that, I probably won’t remember. anything. that happened that night. and it’s very scary, to even think about that because as someone who loves to dwell on the past it’s kind of hard when you don’t remember your past. and with nothing to hope for in the future, I’m kind of stuck here, in the present, constantly. I know for some people that’s really great. A lot of people tell me to live in the present because that’s all I will have. but, it just… …sucks, to know that… in 5 years, when someone brings up, “hey, remember that time?” I’ll have to say, “no. I don’t remember that time.” wow, I was not expecting that to take such a turn. I wasn’t expecting a lot of things today, actually, but… here we are! anyway, here’s one thing I do want to remember. um… it’s this beautiful drawing my friend did. last night. um. I read it incorrectly the first time, “Agnes 1997 was here” is NOT the correct reading, it’s “Agnes was here, 1997” and she… traced a wonderful image of her left hand onto my whiteboard anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. I’m sitting here, honestly, this video is probably going to be 15 minutes long in the, like, uncut edition because I’m sitting here, trying to think of what to say next, but I really don’t know what else to say. maybe I had a script. I wouldn’t remember if I wrote one. oh well. but anyway, happy new year! I haven’t seen you since the new year, and I’m now in… …my new… room. not very new, but a little bit new. I have a nice, new bedframe nice new pillows… nice new- actually, this is not new, this totoro isn’t new but, um a lot of the other things are new. I have a new outlook on life! no, that’s a lie, I don’t know why I said that. anyway, I hope you all are having a wonderful February. a wonderful 2016 and I truly do wish you all the best in life I, for one, am… …doing okay. I should start studying for midterms. they’re next week. yeah. I have been drawing a little bit. or a lot more, actually, which is good that’s something, that’s one thing I’m remembering to do, which is draw. I usually do livestreams now, on picarto I’ll link it in the description picarto.tv/chell that is me I also post things on my art tumblr which is chell-arts.tumblr.com check out what I’m doing there! Usually it’s just. OC related things, but it’s a fun time, and maybe I’ll open up commissions one day, probably not, ’cause I’ll forget to! woo! yeah…. haha… anyway, I hope you’re all having a wonderful- I already said that. I… already said that. almost forgot that I said that! but I remembered anyway! once again I shall see you whenever I shall see you and… just… take care of yourselves. and have a nice 2016. um… hopefully it’s… just… really good to all of us. yeah. now’s the time where I get to decide whether or not I want to sit down and edit this! fun times.




Comments
  1. I'm a person who lives in the past and looks forward to the future.

    that being said. Losing memories and such would make me feel the same way and I hope either this is temporary or you find a nice way to keep your thoughts and memories in check. I write a journal if that tells you anything.

  2. Sounds like a depressing road :c life really does hit us all in different ways and tries to step all over us, but all we can do is try our best to live it to the fullest. I hope it turns out to be a great 2016 for yourself and hopefully an eye-opening one (in the greatest of ways) :]

  3. Every once in a while, I come back to this channel and I always find one new video. Which…. I guess says a lot about how often I visit. Nonetheless, I love how seldom you update. It really gives an insight to the steady progression of life, rather than the day to day. Whenever I watch a new video of yours and see how much (or little) you've grown, it just makes me think about the beauty of growth and time itself. I love your videos, and I love you, dude. Thank you for what you do.

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